Why I don’t hate Vegetarians and Vegans
First off, I find the human forms great fodder for jokes. Second, animal vegans are enjoyed grilled, poached, fried, baked, roasted, braised, and some of them in their raw form.
Let me rail on the human form. They come to the restaurant and eat the cheap stuff and pay full price. LOVE IT! When I was at LCB, one of my classmates was a vegan and made sure she took every opportunity to tell others about it. Omnivores were evil. She stated that she would rather wear shoes made from human skin than animal. Statements like that. I would just shake my head and think, kid, WRONG culinary school.
So anyway, she was on one of her tirades against the Omni’s. She finally said what I had waited so patiently to hear from her unenlightened mind. “I don’t eat anything with a face”. I could have been mature and taken the high road but no. It just jumped out of my mind and activated my vocal chords. So, you don’t uh… on your boyfriend?
She didn’t bring up her food style choice in my presence again. For some reason, she made a concerted effort to avoid me. I later used the same statement on a vegan friend. He really bends that whole vegan thing though.
The true Vegans? I shall speak on that as well. Let me start with chickens. They eat poo. They also eat grains and I have yet to see a chicken spit out a piece of corn that had a worm on it. The typical vegan land animal eats bugs all the time. Oh and our cud eating cow? Until someone clued to the whole using bone meal as feed, cattle were pretty much cannibals.
Pigs are different. Like humans, they eat anything including their own. OUCH! Didn’t think of your food like that? It is, in the short and not so sweet.
Shall I move on to fish. Oh yes Team Kembers! Enlighten your minions. Talapia. YUCK. That is pretty much all I can say about them. They are used to clean the catfish farms. More poo eaters. Crustaceans? More poo and decaying vegetation and rotting debris. I still appreciate the commercial fishermen. Hey, people want to eat the catch.
I would like to state again that I really do hold a certain reverence to the animals that we eat. I love all animals and feel it is my obligation as a Chef to treat them well. A can of cream of mushroom soup over the beasties is just cruel.